I Have a Goal

My initial goal when I started this journey was to lose 10% of my starting body weight. My physician told me the benefits of losing this 10% would really be noticable. It's possible once my initial goal is reached I won't have to take blood pressure medicine anymore and the risk of Type II diabetes is significantly reduced.

Well, I'm within 3 lbs of my initial 10% goal. I'm excited. And it's true, there are some noticable effects of losing 39lbs. The one thing I notice the most is that I have no swelling in my feet. Usually this time of year I have my feet all wrapped up to prevent them from swelling at night. When the weather starts changing they usually start blowing up like balloons, but so far I've experienced no swelling. Secondly, I'm actually am noticing that my clothes fit differently. Not a lot, but just enough to keep me motivated. My favorite pair of jeans earlier this year I would keep having to sew the seams that kept coming out. I haven't had to sew them up again since February and now they actually have a little give. Yay!

So, now that I'm in reach of reaching my first goal, I've started thinking about what goals will come next. I have two goals that I would like to reach THIS YEAR! While it seems like a lot, these are totally obtainable goals and I look forward to reaching my current goal so I can start working on these others.

1. Start Fresh. I'll need to lose another 10% this year. It's still a big number, but not impossible. While remembering my previous weight loss this year, I need to focus like I'm starting all over.

2. Reach the weight I actually have listed on my Drivers License. I hate being a liar. It was correct once, but I haven't updated it. It's lying by omission.

As always, I'll keep you posted on my progress. I need all the encouragement I can get.

My Confession

I'm overweight. I over eat. I'm terrible with portion sizes and it wasn't until recently I've stopped supersizing every extra value meal I purchased. I'm overweight because I eat the wrong foods thus the extra value meals. I'm overweight because when I'm sad, I eat. When I'm happy I eat, when I entertain I eat, when I'm bored I eat. I'm fat because most days I just don't care and other days I care too much. When I care to much, I get depressed and then I eat.


I'm overweight because I'm scared to be myself so I hide behind the one thing that makes me the most miserable.


I'm scared I'll always be alone, but I'm also scared to be in a relationship if it's going to be like the one my mother had with my father. I'm scared that if I lose weight I won't be the same person my friends like and we won't be friends anymore and I really love my friends a lot. They've really helped me through some really rough situations.

Is there any kind of guarantee that when it's all done all still be me only better? I hope so. I'm on a mission to find out. I'll keep you posted.

April